Alice Levine - My Relationship with Yes and No

When I was a child, my father would often talk about his despair at working for other people, watching his employers thrive while he was barely able to support us. Somewhere, at about age 8 years old, I asked my dad why he didn't start his own business. His response was: "What if it fails and I lose everything?"

I looked around at our circumstances: living in a public housing project, never enough money, etc. It occurred to me that my dad deprived himself of the possibility of a happier life by saying an emphatic NO to seizing opportunity. YES was not even a possibility for him. I vowed that would not be the way my life would go. 

Looking back on my life, I would love to say I've had a perfect scorecard on saying yes to opportunity. However, like most people, it's been a mixed bag.

The successes have been a blessing.

My initial professional occupation was working as a CPA. I hated the job, but eventually I said YES to finding a more rewarding career in real estate. Tough choice given that I had a family to support and leaving my lucrative job for the vagaries of real estate.

I was born in a male body. In 2005 I realized that nature had made a mistake. Transitioning to living life as a female was the toughest choice a person can make. So much to lose personally and professionally. I was a YES to living my authentic life.

The failures have been less than a blessing but fortunately not tragic. I think of all the dates I didn't have because I didn't have the nerve to ask them out. I may have missed having a romantic relationship with my wife because I was afraid to suggest that we move from friends to more than friends. Fortunately, she was a YES to moving it to the next level. Then there were the investment opportunities I didn't take. Right out of my dad’s playbook because I could've lost everything. 

YES and NO is the yin and yang of life. Sometimes saying NO saves our lives; sometimes it impairs it. Sometimes YES opens a world of opportunity and excitement; sometimes it’s a disaster. I think a healthy dose of both makes for a healthy life.