Marilyn Pfaltz - On Legacy

Marilyn Pfaltz

Family stories and hand me down memories have been very much a part of our family life. Never sure how accurate the stories are, but fun to hear and retell. 

My husband, Hugo, Tug, as he was called, and I arrived in Summit in 1960 with a growing family. It was probably ordained for us to attend the Unitarian Church. His folks and he had begun attending in 1941 with the arrival of a new minister, A. Powell Davies. His Mother, Betty Pfaltz had contracted polio as a little girl, eventually walking with two steel braces and two canes. She was very active in church activities and she and Hugo, Sr. were Sunday regulars. She was a very plucky spirit. My mother was a reincarnation of “can do” through thick and thin. Positivity personified.

Both our families had the same welcoming spirit. How often we heard these words when someone dropped into our lives. “Not to worry. There is always room for one more at the table.” 

Tug was a kind and generous soul, who instilled an adventurous spirit, leading us on many far flung travels. He would set off on a mission to explore, three children trailing behind and I bringing up the rear to be sure no one got lost. 

Family memories and stories are the real glue which bind the generations and can set the pattern for our lives. I have two stories. 

Nannie, Tug’s mother, became ill in her mid-80’s and was sleeping in her bed at home with her sister guarding the bedside. Tug and I were off to a fancy event in NYC and he insisted we come by to say Hi before we drove in. Aunt Ellie reluctantly helped prop Nannie up in the pillows. As she focused on us standing at the end of the bed, he in black tie, she slowly waved her hand and said, “ALWAYS HAVE FUN.” We called the next morning from New York to check in and the visiting nurse on the phone said that Nannie had died in the night. Her last words have become a benediction for our family. An unforgettable legacy.

My mother died when Bob , our youngest, was seven. I once asked him if he remembered Grammy. “I don’t really.” he said, “But I do remember one thing. Every time she came to visit, it made me feel good.” 

I appreciate the kindness and welcoming spirit which surround us in this space. Thanks to Emily, Robin, Tuli and Misa, we always have fun.